Barry Lyndon

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I learned the truth very soon. At the third toast, it was always the
custom for the ladies to withdraw; but my uncle stopped them this
time, in spite of the remonstrances of Nora, who said, 'Oh, pa! do
let us go!' and said, 'No, Mrs. Brady and ladies, if you plaise;
this is a sort of toast that is drunk a great dale too seldom in my
family, and you'll plaise to receive it with all the honours. Here's
CAPTAIN AND MRS. JOHN QUIN, and long life to them. Kiss her, Jack,
you rogue: for 'faith you've got a treasure!'

'He has already '----I screeched out, springing up.

'Hold your tongue, you fool--hold your tongue!' said big Ulick, who
sat by me; but I wouldn't hear.

'He has already,' I screamed, 'been slapped in the face this
morning, Captain John Quin; he's already been called coward, Captain
John Quin; and this is the way I'll drink his health. Here's your
health, Captain John Quin!' And I flung a glass of claret into his
face. I don't know how he looked after it, for the next moment I
myself was under the table, tripped up by Ulick, who hit me a
violent cuff on the head as I went down; and I had hardly leisure to
hear the general screaming and skurrying that was taking place above
me, being so fully occupied with kicks, and thumps, and curses, with
which Ulick was belabouring me. 'You fool!' roared he--' you great
blundering marplot--you silly beggarly brat' (a thump at each),
'hold your tongue!' These blows from Ulick, of course, I did not
care for, for he had always been my friend, and had been in the
habit of thrashing me all my life.

When I got up from under the table all the ladies were gone; and I
had the satisfaction of seeing the Captain's nose was bleeding, as
mine was--HIS was cut across the bridge, and his beauty spoiled for
ever. Ulick shook himself, sat down quietly, filled a bumper, and
pushed the bottle to me. 'There, you young donkey,' said he, 'sup
that; and let's hear no more of your braying.'

'In Heaven's name, what does all the row mean?' says my uncle. 'Is
the boy in the fever again?'

'It's all your fault,' said Mick sulkily: 'yours and those who
brought him here.'

'Hold your noise, Mick!' says Ulick, turning on him; 'speak civil of
my father and me, and don't let me be called upon to teach you
manners.'

'It IS your fault,' repeated Mick. 'What business has the vagabond
here? If I had my will, I'd have him flogged and turned out.'

'And so he should be,' said Captain Quin.

'You'd best not try it, Quin,' said Ulick, who was always my
champion; and turning to his father, 'The fact is, sir, that the
young monkey has fallen in love with Nora, and finding her and the
Captain mighty sweet in the garden to-day, he was for murdering Jack
Quin.'

'Gad, he's beginning young,' said my uncle, quite good-humouredly.
''Faith, Fagan, that boy's a Brady, every inch of him.'

'And I'll tell you what, Mr. B.,' cried Quin, bristling up: 'I've
been insulted grossly in this 'OUSE. I ain't at all satisfied with
these here ways of going on. I'm an Englishman I am, and a man of
property; and I--I'--'If you're insulted, and not satisfied,
remember there's two of us, Quin,' said Ulick gruffly. On which the
Captain fell to washing his nose in water, and answered never a
word.

'Mr. Quin,' said I, in the most dignified tone I could assume, 'may
also have satisfaction any time he pleases, by calling on Redmond
Barry, Esquire, of Barryville.' At which speech my uncle burst out
a-laughing (as he did at everything); and in this laugh, Captain
Fagan, much to my mortification, joined. I turned rather smartly
upon him, however, and bade him to understand that as for my cousin
Ulick, who had been my best friend through life, I could put up with
rough treatment from him; yet, though I was a boy, even that sort of
treatment I would bear from him no longer; and any other person who
ventured on the like would find me a man, to their cost. 'Mr. Quin,'
I added, 'knows that fact very well; and if HE'S a man, he'll know
where to find me.'

My uncle now observed that it was getting late, and that my mother
would be anxious about me. 'One of you had better go home with him,'
said he, turning to his sons, 'or the lad may be playing more
pranks.' But Ulick said, with a nod to his brother, 'Both of us ride
home with Quin here.'

'I'm not afraid of Freny's people,' said the Captain, with a faint
attempt at a laugh; 'my man is armed, and so am I.'

'You know the use of arms very well, Quin,' said Ulick; 'and no one
can doubt your courage; but Mick and I will see you home for all
that.'

'Why, you'll not be home till morning, boys. Kilwangan's a good ten
mile from here.'

'We'll sleep at Quin's quarters,' replied Ulick: 'WE'RE GOING TO
STOP A WEEK THERE.'

'Thank you,' says Quin, very faint; 'it's very kind of you.'

'You'll be lonely, you know, without us.'

'Oh yes, very lonely!' says Quin.

'And in ANOTHER WEEK, my boy,' says Ulick (and here he whispered
something in the Captain's ear, in which I thought I caught the
words 'marriage,' 'parson,' and felt all my fury returning again).

'As you please,' whined out the Captain; and the horses were
quickly brought round, and the three gentlemen rode away.

Fagan stopped, and, at my uncle's injunction, walked across the old
treeless park with me. He said that after the quarrel at dinner, he
thought I would scarcely want to see the ladies that night, in which
opinion I concurred entirely; and so we went off without an adieu.

'A pretty day's work of it you have made, Master Redmond,' said he.
'What! you a friend to the Bradys, and knowing your uncle to be
distressed for money, try and break off a match which will bring
fifteen hundred a year into the family? Quin has promised to pay off
the four thousand pounds which is bothering your uncle so. He takes
a girl without a penny--a girl with no more beauty than yonder
bullock. Well, well, don't look furious; let's say she IS handsome--
there's no accounting for tastes,--a girl that has been flinging
herself at the head of every man in these parts these ten years
past, and MISSING them all. And you, as poor as herself, a boy of
fifteen--well, sixteen, if you insist--and a boy who ought to be
attached to your uncle as to your father'--

'And so I am,' said I.

'And this is the return you make him for his kindness! Didn't he
harbour you in his house when you were an orphan, and hasn't he
given you rent-free your fine mansion of Barryville yonder? And now,
when his affairs can be put into order, and a chance offers for his
old age to be made comfortable, who flings himself in the way of him
and competence?--You, of all others; the man in the world most
obliged to him. It's wicked, ungrateful, unnatural. From a lad of
such spirit as you are, I expect a truer courage.'

'I am not afraid of any man alive,' exclaimed I (for this latter
part of the Captain's argument had rather staggered me, and I
wished, of course, to turn it--as one always should when the enemy's
too strong); 'and it's _I_ am the injured man, Captain Fagan. No man
was ever, since the world began, treated so. Look here--look at this
riband. I've worn it in my heart for six months. I've had it there
all the time of the fever. Didn't Nora take it out of her own bosom
and give it me? Didn't she kiss me when she gave it me, and call me
her darling Redmond?'

'She was PRACTISING,' replied Mr. Fagan, with a sneer. 'I know
women, sir. Give them time, and let nobody else come to the house,
and they'll fall in love with a chimney-sweep. There was a young
lady in Fermoy'--

'A young lady in flames,' roared I (but I used a still hotter word).
'Mark this; come what will of it, I swear I'll fight the man who
pretends to the hand of Nora Brady. I'll follow him, if it's into
the church, and meet him there. I'll have his blood, or he shall
have mine; and this riband shall be found dyed in it. Yes, and if I
kill him, I'll pin it on his breast, and then she may go and take
back her token.' This I said because I was very much excited at the
time, and because I had not read novels and romantic plays for
nothing.

'Well,' says Fagan after a pause, 'if it must be, it must. For a
young fellow, you are the most blood-thirsty I ever saw. Quin's a
determined fellow, too.'

'Will you take my message to him?' said I, quite eagerly.

'Hush!' said Fagan: 'your mother may be on the look-out. Here we
are, close to Barryville.'

'Mind! not a word to my mother,' I said; and went into the house
swelling with pride and exultation to think that I should have a
chance against the Englishman I hated so.

Tim, my servant, had come up from Barryville on my mother's return
from church; for the good lady was rather alarmed at my absence, and
anxious for my return. But he had seen me go in to dinner, at the
invitation of the sentimental lady's-maid; and when he had had his
own share of the good things in the kitchen, which was always better
furnished than ours at home, had walked back again to inform his
mistress where I was, and, no doubt, to tell her, in his own
fashion, of all the events that had happened at Castle Brady. In
spite of my precautions to secrecy, then, I half suspected that my
mother knew all, from the manner in which she embraced me on my
arrival, and received our guest, Captain Fagan. The poor soul looked
a little anxious and flushed, and every now and then gazed very hard
in the Captain's face; but she said not a word about the quarrel,
for she had a noble spirit, and would as lief have seen anyone of
her kindred hanged as shirking from the field of honour. What has
become of those gallant feelings nowadays? Sixty years ago a man was
a MAN, in old Ireland, and the sword that was worn by his side was
at the service of any gentleman's gizzard, upon the slightest
difference. But the good old times and usages are fast fading away.
One scarcely every hears of a fair meeting now, and the use of those
cowardly pistols, in place of the honourable and manly weapon of
gentlemen, has introduced a deal of knavery into the practice of
duelling, that cannot be sufficiently deplored.

When I arrived at home I felt that I was a man in earnest, and
welcoming Captain Fagan to Barryville, and introducing him to my
mother, in a majestic and dignified way, said the Captain must be
thirsty after his walk, and called upon Tim to bring up a bottle of
the yellow-sealed Bordeaux, and cakes and glasses, immediately.

Tim looked at the mistress in great wonderment: and the fact is,
that six hours previous I would as soon have thought of burning the
house down as calling for a bottle of claret on my own account; but
I felt I was a man now, and had a right to command; and my mother
felt this too, for she turned to the fellow and said, sharply,
'Don't you hear, you rascal, what YOUR MASTER says! Go, get the
wine, and the cakes and glasses, directly.' Then (for you may be
sure she did not give Tim the keys of our little cellar) she went
and got the liquor herself; and Tim brought it in, on the silver
tray, in due form. My dear mother poured out the wine, and drank the
Captain welcome; but I observed her hand shook very much as she
performed this courteous duty, and the bottle went clink, clink,
against the glass. When she had tasted her glass, she said she had a
headache, and would go to bed; and so I asked her blessing, as
becomes a dutiful son--(the modern BLOODS have given up the
respectful ceremonies which distinguished a gentleman in my time)--
and she left me and Captain Fagan to talk over our important
business.

'Indeed,' said the Captain,' I see now no other way out of the
scrape than a meeting. The fact is, there was a talk of it at Castle
Brady, after your attack upon Quin this afternoon, and he vowed that
he would cut you in pieces: but the tears and supplications of Miss
Honoria induced him, though very unwillingly, to relent. Now,
however, matters have gone too far. No officer, bearing His
Majesty's commission, can receive a glass of wine on his nose--this
claret of yours is very good, by the way, and by your leave we'll
ring for another bottle--without resenting the affront. Fight you
must; and Quin is a huge strong fellow.'

'He'll give the better mark,' said I. 'I am not afraid of him.'

'In faith,' said the Captain,' I believe you are not; for a lad, I
never saw more game in my life.'

'Look at that sword, sir,' says I, pointing to an elegant silver-
mounted one, in a white shagreen case, that hung on the mantelpiece,
under the picture of my father, Harry Barry. 'It was with that
sword, sir, that my father pinked Mohawk O'Driscol, in Dublin, in
the year 1740; with that sword, sir, he met Sir Huddlestone
Fuddlestone, the Hampshire baronet, and ran him through the neck.
They met on horseback, with sword and pistol, on Hounslow Heath, as
I dare say you have heard tell of, and those are the pistols' (they
hung on each side of the picture) 'which the gallant Barry used. He
was quite in the wrong, having insulted Lady Fuddlestone, when in
liquor, at the Brentford assembly. But, like a gentleman, he scorned
to apologise, and Sir Huddlestone received a ball through his hat,
before they engaged with the sword. I am Harry Barry's son, sir, and
will act as becomes my name and my quality.'

'Give me a kiss, my dear boy,' said Fagan, with tears in his eyes.
'You're after my own soul. As long as Jack Fagan lives you shall
never want a friend or a second.'

Poor fellow! he was shot six months afterwards, carrying orders to
my Lord George Sackville, at Minden, and I lost thereby a kind
friend. But we don't know what is in store for us, and that night
was a merry one at least. We had a second bottle, and a third too (I
could hear the poor mother going downstairs for each, but she never
came into the parlour with them, and sent them in by the butler, Mr.
Tim): and we parted at length, he engaging to arrange matters with
Mr. Quin's second that night, and to bring me news in the morning as
to the place where the meeting should take place. I have often
thought since, how different my fate might have been, had I not
fallen in love with Nora at that early age; and had I not flung the
wine in Quin's face, and so brought on the duel. I might have
settled down in Ireland but for that (for Miss Quinlan was an
heiress, within twenty miles of us, and Peter Burke, of Kilwangan,
left his daughter Judy L700 a year, and I might have had either of
them, had I waited a few years). But it was in my fate to be a
wanderer, and that battle with Quin sent me on my travels at a very
early age: as you shall hear anon.

I never slept sounder in my life, though I woke a little earlier
than usual; and you may be sure my first thought was of the event of
the day, for which I was fully prepared. I had ink and pen in my
room--had I not been writing those verses to Nora but the day
previous, like a poor fond fool as I was? And now I sat down and
wrote a couple of letters more: they might be the last, thought I,
that I ever should write in my life. The first was to my mother:--

'Honoured Madam'--I wrote--'This will not be given you unless I fall
by the hand of Captain Quin, whom I meet this day in the field of
honour, with sword and pistol. If I die, it is as a good Christian
and a gentleman,--how should I be otherwise when educated by such a
mother as you? I forgive all my enemies--I beg your blessing as a
dutiful son. I desire that my mare Nora, which my uncle gave me, and
which I called after the most faithless of her sex, may be returned
to Castle Brady, and beg you will give my silver-hiked hanger to
Phil Purcell, the gamekeeper. Present my duty to my uncle and Ulick,
and all the girls of MY party there. And I remain your dutiful son,

'REDMOND BARRY.'

To Nora I wrote:--

'This letter will be found in my bosom along with the token you gave
me. It will be dyed in my blood (unless I have Captain Quin's, whom
I hate, but forgive), and will be a pretty ornament for you on your
marriage-day. Wear it, and think of the poor boy to whom you gave
it, and who died (as he was always ready to do) for your sake.

'REDMOND.'

These letters being written, and sealed with my father's great
silver seal of the Barry arms, I went down to breakfast; where my
mother was waiting for me, you may be sure. We did not say a single
word about what was taking place: on the contrary, we talked of
anything but that; about who was at church the day before, and about
my wanting new clothes now I was grown so tall. She said I must have
a suit against winter, if--if--she could afford it. She winced
rather at the 'if,' Heaven bless her! I knew what was in her mind.
And then she fell to telling me about the black pig that must be
killed, and that she had found the speckled hen's nest that morning,
whose eggs I liked so, and other such trifling talk. Some of these
eggs were for breakfast, and I ate them with a good appetite; but in
helping myself to salt I spilled it, on which she started up with a
scream. 'THANK GOD,' said she, 'IT'S FALLEN TOWARDS ME.' And then,
her heart being too full, she left the room. Ah! they have their
faults, those mothers; but are there any other women like them?

When she was gone I went to take down the sword with which my father
had vanquished the Hampshire baronet, and, would you believe it?--
the brave woman had tied A NEW RIBAND to the hilt: for indeed she
had the courage of a lioness and a Brady united. And then I took
down the pistols, which were always kept bright and well oiled, and
put some fresh flints I had into the locks, and got balls and powder
ready against the Captain should come. There was claret and a cold
fowl put ready for him on the sideboard, and a case-bottle of old
brandy too, with a couple of little glasses on the silver tray with
the Barry arms emblazoned. In after life, and in the midst of my
fortune and splendour, I paid thirty-five guineas, and almost as
much more interest, to the London goldsmith who supplied my father
with that very tray. A scoundrel pawnbroker would only give me
sixteen for it afterwards; so little can we trust the honour of
rascally tradesmen!

At eleven o'clock Captain Fagan arrived, on horseback, with a
mounted dragoon after him. He paid his compliments to the collation
which my mother's care had provided for him, and then said, 'Look
ye, Redmond my boy; this is a silly business. The girl will marry
Quin, mark my words; and as sure as she does you'll forget her. You
are but a boy. Quin is willing to consider you as such. Dublin's a
fine place, and if you have a mind to take a ride thither and see
the town for a month, here are twenty guineas at your service. Make
Quin an apology, and be off.'

'A man of honour, Mr. Fagan,' says I, 'dies, but never apologises.
I'll see the Captain hanged before I apologise.'

'Then there's nothing for it but a meeting.'

'My mare is saddled and ready,' says I; 'where's the meeting, and
who's the Captain's second?'

'Your cousins go out with him,' answered Mr. Fagan.

'I'll ring for my groom to bring my mare round,' I said, 'as soon as
you have rested yourself.' Tim was accordingly despatched for Nora,
and I rode away, but I didn't take leave of Mrs. Barry. The curtains
of her bedroom windows were down, and they didn't move as we mounted
and trotted off... BUT TWO HOURS AFTERWARDS, you should have seen
her as she came tottering downstairs, and heard the scream which she
gave as she hugged her boy to her heart, quite unharmed and without
a wound in his body.

What had taken place I may as well tell here. When we got to the
ground, Ulick, Mick, and the Captain were already there: Quin,
flaming in red regimentals, as big a monster as ever led a grenadier
company. The party were laughing together at some joke of one or the
other: and I must say I thought this laughter very unbecoming in my
cousins, who were met, perhaps, to see the death of one of their
kindred.

'I hope to spoil this sport,' says I to Captain Fagan, in a great
rage, 'and trust to see this sword of mine in yonder big bully's
body.'

'Oh! it's with pistols we fight,' replied Mr. Fagan. 'You are no
match for Quin with the sword.'

'I'll match any man with the sword,' said I.

'But swords are to-day impossible; Captain Quin is--is lame. He
knocked his knee against the swinging park-gate last night, as he
was riding home, and can scarce move it now.'

'Not against Castle Brady gate,' says I: 'that has been off the
hinges these ten years.' On which Fagan said it must have been some
other gate, and repeated what he had said to Mr. Quin and my
cousins, when, on alighting from our horses, we joined and saluted
those gentlemen.

'Oh yes! dead lame,' said Ulick, coming to shake me by the hand,
while Captain Quin took off his hat and turned extremely red. 'And
very lucky for you, Redmond my boy,' continued Ulick; 'you were a
dead man else; for he is a devil of a fellow--isn't he, Fagan?'

'A regular Turk,' answered Fagan; adding, 'I never yet knew the man
who stood to Captain Quin.'

'Hang the business!' said Ulick; 'I hate it. I'm ashamed of it. Say
you're sorry, Redmond: you can easily say that.'

'If the young FELLER will go to DUBLING, as proposed'--here
interposed Mr. Quin.

'I am NOT sorry--I'll NOT apologise--and I'll as soon go to DUBLING
as to--!' said I, with a stamp of my foot.

'There's nothing else for it,' said Ulick with a laugh to Fagan.
'Take your ground, Fagan,--twelve paces, I suppose?'

'Ten, sir,' said Mr. Quin, in a big voice; 'and make them short
ones, do you hear, Captain Fagan?'

'Don't bully, Mr. Quin,' said Ulick surlily; 'here are the pistols.'
And he added, with some emotion, to me, 'God bless you, my boy; and
when I count three, fire.'

Mr. Fagan put my pistol into my hand,--that is, not one of mine
(which were to serve, if need were, for the next round), but one of
Ulick's. 'They are all right,' said he. 'Never fear: and, Redmond,
fire at his neck--hit him there under the gorget. See how the fool
shows himself open.' Mick, who had never spoken a word, Ulick, and
the Captain retired to one side, and Ulick gave the signal. It was
slowly given, and I had leisure to cover my man well. I saw him
changing colour and trembling as the numbers were given. At 'three,'
both our pistols went off. I heard something whizz by me, and my
antagonist, giving a most horrible groan, staggered backwards and
fell.

'He's down--he's down!' cried the seconds, running towards him.
Ulick lifted him up--Mick took his head.

'He's hit here, in the neck,' said Mick; and laying open his coat,
blood was seen gurgling from under his gorget, at the very spot at
which I aimed.

'How is it with you?' said Ulick. 'Is he really hit?' said he,
looking hard at him. The unfortunate man did not answer, but when
the support of Ulick's arm was withdrawn from his back, groaned once
more, and fell backwards.

'The young fellow has begun well,' said Mick, with a scowl. 'You had
better ride off, young sir, before the police are up. They had wind
of the business before we left Kilwangan.'

'Is he quite dead?' said I.

'Quite dead,' answered Mick.

'Then the world's rid of A COWARD,' said Captain Fagan, giving the
huge prostrate body a scornful kick with his foot. 'It's all over
with him, Reddy,--he doesn't stir.'

'WE are not cowards, Fagan,' said Ulick roughly, 'whatever he was!
Let's get the boy off as quick as we may. Your man shall go for a
cart, and take away the body of this unhappy gentleman. This has
been a sad day's work for our family, Redmond Barry: you have robbed
us of 1500(pounds) a year.'

'It was Nora did it,' said I; 'not I.' And I took the riband she
gave me out of my waistcoat, and the letter, and flung them down on
the body of Captain Quin. 'There!' says I--'take her those ribands.
She'll know what they mean: and that's all that's left to her of two
lovers she had and ruined.'

I did not feel any horror or fear, young as I was, in seeing my
enemy prostrate before me; for I knew that I had met and conquered
him honourably in the field, as became a man of my name and blood.

'And now, in Heaven's name, get the youngster out of the way,' said
Mick.

Ulick said he would ride with me, and off accordingly we galloped,
never drawing bridle till we came to my mother's door. When there,
Ulick told Tim to feed my mare, as I would have far to ride that
day; and I was in the poor mother's arms in a minute.

I need not tell how great were her pride and exultation when she
heard from Ulick's lips the account of my behaviour at the duel. He
urged, however, that I should go into hiding for a short time; and
it was agreed between them that I should drop my name of Barry, and,
taking that of Redmond, go to Dublin, and there wait until matters
were blown over. This arrangement was not come to without some
discussion; for why should I not be as safe at Barryville, she said,
as my cousin and Ulick at Castle Brady?--bailiffs and duns never got
near THEM; why should constables be enabled to come upon me? But
Ulick persisted in the necessity of my instant departure; in which
argument, as I was anxious to see the world, I must confess, I sided
with him; and my mother was brought to see that in our small house
at Barryville, in the midst of the village, and with the guard but
of a couple of servants, escape would be impossible. So the kind
soul was forced to yield to my cousin's entreaties, who promised
her, however, that the affair would soon be arranged, and that I
should be restored to her. Ah! how little did he know what fortune
was in store for me!

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