Barry Lyndon

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The candour of this statement struck his Highness greatly, and
impressed him in my favour, and he was pleased to say that he
believed me, and would be glad to stand my friend.

Having thus the two Dukes, the Duchess, and the reigning favourite
enlisted on my side, the chances certainly were that I should carry
off the great prize; and I ought, according to all common
calculations, to have been a Prince of the Empire at this present
writing, but that my ill luck pursued me in a matter in which I was
not the least to blame,--the unhappy Duchess's attachment to the
weak, silly, cowardly Frenchman. The display of this love was
painful to witness, as its end was frightful to think of. The
Princess made no disguise of it. If Magny spoke a word to a lady of
her household, she would be jealous, and attack with all the fury of
her tongue the unlucky offender. She would send him a half-dozen of
notes in the day: at his arrival to join her circle or the courts
which she held, she would brighten up, so that all might perceive.
It was a wonder that her husband had not long ere this been made
aware of her faithlessness; but the Prince Victor was himself of so
high and stern a nature that he could not believe in her stooping so
far from her rank as to forget her virtue: and I have heard say,
that when hints were given to him of the evident partiality which
the Princess showed for the equerry, his answer was a stern command
never more to be troubled on the subject. 'The Princess is light-
minded,' he said; 'she was brought up at a frivolous Court; but her
folly goes not beyond coquetry: crime is impossible; she has her
birth, and my name, and her children, to defend her.' And he would
ride off to his military inspections and be absent for weeks, or
retire to his suite of apartments, and remain closeted there whole
days; only appearing to make a bow at her Highness's LEVEE, or to
give her his hand at the Court galas, where ceremony required that
he should appear. He was a man of vulgar tastes, and I have seen him
in the private garden, with his great ungainly figure, running
races, or playing at ball with his little son and daughter, whom he
would find a dozen pretexts daily for visiting. The serene children
were brought to their mother every morning at her toilette; but she
received them very indifferently: except on one occasion, when the
young Duke Ludwig got his little uniform as colonel of hussars,
being presented with a regiment by his godfather the Emperor
Leopold. Then, for a day or two, the Duchess Olivia was charmed with
the little boy; but she grew tired of him speedily, as a child does
of a toy. I remember one day, in the morning circle, some of the
Princess's rouge came off on the arm of her son's little white
military jacket; on which she slapped the poor child's face, and
sent him sobbing away. Oh, the woes that have been worked by women
in this world! the misery into which men have lightly stepped with
smiling faces; often not even with the excuse of passion, but from
mere foppery, vanity, and bravado! Men play with these dreadful two-
edged tools, as if no harm could come to them. I, who have seen more
of life than most men, if I had a son, would go on my knees to him
and beg him to avoid woman, who is worse than poison. Once intrigue,
and your whole life is endangered: you never know when the evil may
fall upon you; and the woe of whole families, and the ruin of
innocent people perfectly dear to you, may be caused by a moment of
your folly.

When I saw how entirely lost the unlucky Monsieur de Magny seemed to
be, in spite of ail the claims I had against him, I urged him to
fly. He had rooms in the palace, in the garrets over the Princess's
quarters (the building was a huge one, and accommodated almost a
city of noble retainers of the family); but the infatuated young
fool would not budge, although he had not even the excuse of love
for staying. 'How she squints,' he would say of the Princess, 'and
how crooked she is! She thinks no one can perceive her deformity.
She writes me verses out of Gresset or Crebillon, and fancies I
believe them to be original. Bah! they are no more her own than her
hair is!' It was in this way that the wretched lad was dancing over
the ruin that was yawning under him. I do believe that his chief
pleasure in making love to the Princess was, that he might write
about his victories to his friends of the PETITES MAISONS at Paris,
where he longed to be considered as a wit and a VAINQUEUR DE DAMES.

Seeing the young man's recklessness, and the danger of his position,
I became very anxious that MY little scheme should be brought to a
satisfactory end, and pressed him warmly on the matter.

My solicitations with him were, I need not say, from the nature of
the connection between us, generally pretty successful; and, in
fact, the poor fellow could REFUSE ME NOTHING: as I used often
laughingly to say to him, very little to his liking. But I used more
than threats, or the legitimate influence I had over him. I used
delicacy and generosity; as a proof of which, I may mention that I
promised to give back to the Princess the family emerald, which I
mentioned in the last chapter that I had won from her unprincipled
admirer at play.

This was done by my uncle's consent, and was one of the usual acts
of prudence and foresight which distinguish that clever man. "Press
the matter now, Redmond my boy," he would urge. "This affair between
her Highness and Magny must end ill for both of them, and that soon;
and where will be your chance to win the Countess then? Now is your
time! win her and wear her before the month is over, and we will
give up the punting business, and go live like noblemen at our
castle in Swabia. Get rid of that emerald, too," he added: "should
an accident happen, it will be an ugly deposit found in our hand."
This it was that made me agree to forego the possession of the
trinket; which, I must confess, I was loth to part with. It was
lucky for us both that I did: as you shall presently hear.

Meanwhile, then, I urged Magny: I myself spoke strongly to the
Countess of Liliengarten, who promised formally to back my claim
with his Highness the reigning Duke; and Monsieur de Magny was
instructed to induce the Princess Olivia to make a similar
application to the old sovereign in my behalf. It was done. The two
ladies urged the Prince; his Highness (at a supper of oysters and
champagne) was brought to consent, and her Highness the Hereditary
Princess did me the honour of notifying personally to the Countess
Ida that it was the Prince's will that she should marry the young
Irish nobleman, the Chevalier Redmond de Balibari. The notification
was made in my presence; and though the young Countess said 'Never!'
and fell down in a swoon at her lady's feet, I was, you may be sure,
entirely unconcerned at this little display of mawkish sensibility,
and felt, indeed, now that my prize was secure.

That evening I gave the Chevalier de Magny the emerald, which he
promised to restore to the Princess; and now the only difficulty in
my way lay with the Hereditary Prince, of whom his father, his wife,
and the favourite, were alike afraid. He might not be disposed to
allow the richest heiress in his duchy to be carried off by a noble,
though not a wealthy foreigner. Time was necessary in order to break
the matter to Prince Victor. The Princess must find him at some
moment of good-humour. He had days of infatuation still, when he
could refuse his wife nothing; and our plan was to wait for one of
these, or for any other chance which might occur.

But it was destined that the Princess should never see her husband
at her feet, as often as he had been. Fate was preparing a terrible
ending to her follies, and my own hope. In spite of his solemn
promises to me, Magny never restored the emerald to the Princess
Olivia.

He had heard, in casual intercourse with me, that my uncle and I had
been beholden to Mr. Moses Lowe, the banker of Heidelberg, who had
given us a good price for our valuables; and the infatuated young
man took a pretext to go thither, and offered the jewel for pawn.
Moses Lowe recognised the emerald at once, gave Magny the sum the
latter demanded, which the Chevalier lost presently at play: never,
you may be sure, acquainting us with the means by which he had made
himself master of so much capital. We, for our parts, supposed that
he had been supplied by his usual banker, the Princess: and many
rouleaux of his gold pieces found their way into our treasury, when
at the Court galas, at our own lodgings, or at the apartments of
Madame de Liliengarten (who on these occasions did us the honour to
go halves with us) we held our bank of faro.

Thus Magny's money was very soon gone. But though the Jew held his
jewel, of thrice the value no doubt of the sums he had lent upon it,
that was not all the profit which he intended to have from his
unhappy creditor; over whom he began speedily to exercise his
authority. His Hebrew connections at X--, money-brokers, bankers,
horse-dealers, about the Court there, must have told their
Heidelberg brother what Magny's relations with the Princess were;
and the rascal determined to take advantage of these, and to press
to the utmost both victims. My uncle and I were, meanwhile, swimming
upon the high tide of fortune, prospering with our cards, and with
the still greater matrimonial game which we were playing; and we
were quite unaware of the mine under our feet.

Before a month was passed, the Jew began to pester Magny. He
presented himself at X--, and asked for further interest-hush-money;
otherwise he must sell the emerald. Magny got money for him; the
Princess again befriended her dastardly lover. The success of the
first demand only rendered the second more exorbitant. I know not
how much money was extorted and paid on this unluckly emerald: but
it was the cause of the ruin of us all.

One night we were keeping our table as usual at the Countess of
Liliengarten's, and Magny being in cash somehow, kept drawing out
rouleau after rouleau, and playing with his common ill success. In
the middle of the play a note was brought into him, which he read,
and turned very pale on perusing; but the luck was against him, and
looking up rather anxiously at the clock, he waited for a few more
turns of the cards, when having, I suppose, lost his last rouleau, he
got up with a wild oath that scared some of the polite company
assembled, and left the room. A great trampling of horses was heard
without; but we were too much engaged with our business to heed
the noise, and continued our play.

Presently some one came into the play-room and said to the Countess,
'Here is a strange story! A Jew has been murdered in the Kaiserwald.
Magny was arrested when he went out of the room.' All the party
broke up on hearing this strange news, and we shut up our bank for
the night. Magny had been sitting by me during the play (my uncle
dealt and I paid and took the money), and, looking under the chair,
there was a crumpled paper, which I took up and read. It was that
which had been delivered to him, and ran thus:-

'If you have done it, take the orderly's horse who brings this. It
is the best of my stable. There are a hundred louis in each holster,
and the pistols are loaded. Either course lies open to you if you
know what I mean. In a quarter of an hour I shall know our fate--
whether I am to be dishonoured and survive you, whether you are
guilty and a coward, or whether you are still worthy of the name of

'M.'

This was in the handwriting of the old General de Magny; and my
uncle and I, as we walked home at night, having made and divided
with the Countess Liliengarten no inconsiderable profits that night,
felt our triumphs greatly dashed by the perusal of the letter. 'Has
Magny,' we asked, 'robbed the Jew, or has his intrigue been
discovered?' In either case, my claims on the Countess Ida were
likely to meet with serious drawbacks: and I began to feel that my
'great card' was played and perhaps lost.

Well, it WAS lost: though I say, to this day, it was well and
gallantly played. After supper (which we never for fear of
consequences took during play) I became so agitated in my mind as to
what was occurring that I determined to sally out about midnight
into the town, and inquire what was the real motive of Magny's
apprehension. A sentry was at the door, and signified to me that I
and my uncle were under arrest.

We were left in our quarters for six weeks, so closely watched that
escape was impossible, had we desired it; but, as innocent men, we
had nothing to fear. Our course of life was open to all, and we
desired and courted inquiry. Great and tragical events happened
during those six weeks; of which, though we heard the outline, as
all Europe did, when we were released from our captivity, we were
yet far from understanding all the particulars, which were not much
known to me for many years after. Here they are, as they were told
me by the lady, who of all the world perhaps was most likely to know
them. But the narrative had best form the contents of another
chapter.

CHAPTER XII

TRAGICAL HISTORY OF PRINCESS OF X----

More than twenty years after the events described in the past
chapters, I was walking with my Lady Lyndon in the Rotunda at
Ranelagh. It was in the year 1790; the emigration from France had
already commenced, the old counts and marquises were thronging to
our shores: not starving and miserable, as one saw them a few years
afterwards, but unmolested as yet, and bringing with them some token
of their national splendour. I was walking with Lady Lyndon, who,
proverbially jealous and always anxious to annoy me, spied out a
foreign lady who was evidently remarking me, and of course asked who
was the hideous fat Dutchwoman who was leering at me so? I knew her
not in the least. I felt I had seen the lady's face somewhere (it
was now, as my wife said, enormously fat and bloated); but I did not
recognise in the bearer of that face one who had been among the most
beautiful women in Germany in her day.

It was no other than Madame de Liliengarten, the mistress, or as
some said the morganatic wife, of the old Duke of X----, Duke
Victor's father. She had left X----a few months after the elder
Duke's demise, had gone to Paris, as I heard, where some
unprincipled adventurer had married her for her money; but, however,
had always retained her quasi-royal title, and pretended, amidst the
great laughter of the Parisians who frequented her house, to the
honours and ceremonial of a sovereign's widow. She had a throne
erected in her state-room, and was styled by her servants and those
who wished to pay court to her, or borrow money from her, 'Altesse.'
Report said she drank rather copiously--certainly her face bore
every mark of that habit, and had lost the rosy, frank, good-
humoured beauty which had charmed the sovereign who had ennobled
her.

Although she did not address me in the circle at Ranelagh, I was at
this period as well known as the Prince of Wales, and she had no
difficulty in finding my house in Berkeley Square; whither a note
was next morning despatched to me. 'An old friend of Monsieur de
Balibari,' it stated (in extremely bad French), 'is anxious to see
the Chevalier again and to talk over old happy times. Rosina de
Liliengarten (can it be that Redmond Balibari has forgotten her?)
will be at her house in Leicester Fields all the morning, looking
for one who would never have passed her by TWENTY YEARS ago.'

Rosina of Liliengarten it was indeed--such a full-blown Rosina I
have seldom seen. I found her in a decent first-floor in Leicester
Fields (the poor soul fell much lower afterwards) drinking tea,
which had somehow a very strong smell of brandy in it; and after
salutations, which would be more tedious to recount than they were
to perform, and after further straggling conversation, she gave me
briefly the following narrative of the events in X----, which I may
well entitle the 'Princess's Tragedy.'

'You remember Monsieur de Geldern, the Police Minister. He was of
Dutch extraction, and, what is more, of a family of Dutch Jews.
Although everybody was aware of this blot in his scutcheon, he was
mortally angry if ever his origin was suspected; and made up for his
fathers' errors by outrageous professions of religion, and the most
austere practices of devotion. He visited church every morning,
confessed once a week, and hated Jews and Protestants as much as an
inquisitor could do. He never lost an opportunity of proving his
sincerity, by persecuting one or the other whenever occasion fell in
his way.

'He hated the Princess mortally; for her Highness in some whim had
insulted him with his origin, caused pork to be removed from before
him at table, or injured him in some such silly way; and he had a
violent animosity to the old Baron de Magny, both in his capacity of
Protestant, and because the latter in some haughty mood had publicly
turned his back upon him as a sharper and a spy. Perpetual quarrels
were taking place between them in council; where it was only the
presence of his august masters that restrained the Baron from
publicly and frequently expressing the contempt which he felt for
the officer of police.

'Thus Geldern had hatred as one reason for ruining the Princess, and
it is my belief he had a stronger motive still--interest. You
remember whom the Duke married, after the death of his first wife?--
a princess of the house of F----. Geldern built his fine palace two
years after, and, as I feel convinced, with the money which was paid
to him by the F----family for forwarding the match.

'To go to Prince Victor, and report to his Highness a case which
everybody knew, was not by any means Geldern's desire. He knew the
man would be ruined for ever in the Prince's estimation who carried
him intelligence so disastrous. His aim, therefore, was to leave the
matter to explain itself to his Highness; and, when the time was
ripe, he cast about for a means of carrying his point. He had spies
in the houses of the elder and younger Magny; but this you know, of
course, from your experience of Continental customs. We had all
spies over each other. Your black (Zamor, I think, was his name)
used to give me reports every morning; and I used to entertain the
dear old Duke with stories of you and your uncle practising picquet
and dice in the morning, and with your quarrels and intrigues. We
levied similar contributions on everybody in X----, to amuse the
dear old man. Monsieur de Magny's valet used to report both to me
and Monsieur de Geldern.

'I knew of the fact of the emerald being in pawn; and it was out of
my exchequer that the poor Princess drew the funds which were spent
upon the odious Lowe, and the still more worthless young Chevalier.
How the Princess could trust the latter as she persisted in doing,
is beyond my comprehension; but there is no infatuation like that of
a woman in love: and you will remark, my dear Monsieur de Balibari,
that our sex generally fix upon a bad man.'

'Not always, madam,' I interposed; 'your humble servant has created
many such attachments.'

'I do not see that that affects the truth of the proposition,' said
the old lady drily, and continued her narrative. 'The Jew who held
the emerald had had many dealings with the Princess, and at last was
offered a bribe of such magnitude, that he determined to give up the
pledge. He committed the inconceivable imprudence of bringing the
emerald with him to X----, and waited on Magny, who was provided by
the Princess with money to redeem the pledge, and was actually ready
to pay it.'

'Their interview took place in Magny's own apartments, when his
valet overheard every word of their conversation. The young man, who
was always utterly careless of money when it was in his possession,
was so easy in offering it, that Lowe rose in his demands, and had
the conscience to ask double the sum for which he had previously
stipulated.

'At this the Chevalier lost all patience, fell on the wretch and was
for killing him; when the opportune valet rushed in and saved him.
The man had heard every word of the conversation between the
disputants, and the Jew ran flying with terror into his arms; and
Magny, a quick and passionate, but not a violent man, bade the
servant lead the villain downstairs, and thought no more of him.

'Perhaps he was not sorry to be rid of him, and to have in his
possession a large sum of money, four thousand ducats, with which he
could tempt fortune once more; as you know he did at your table that
night.'

'Your ladyship went halves, madam,' said I; 'and you know how little
I was the better for my winnings.'

'The man conducted the trembling Israelite out of the palace, and no
sooner had seen him lodged at the house of one of his brethren,
where he was accustomed to put up, than he went away to the office
of his Excellency the Minister of Police, and narrated every word of
the conversation which had taken place between the Jew and his
master.

'Geldern expressed the greatest satisfaction at his spy's prudence
and fidelity. He gave him a purse of twenty ducats, and promised to
provide for him handsomely: as great men do sometimes promise to
reward their instruments; but you, Monsieur de Balibari, know how
seldom those promises are kept. "Now, go and find out," said
Monsieur de Geldern, "at what time the Israelite proposes to return
home again, or whether he will repent and take the money." The man
went on this errand. Meanwhile, to make matters sure, Geldern
arranged a play-party at my house, inviting you thither with your
bank, as you may remember; and finding means, at the same time, to
let Maxime de Magny know that there was to be faro at Madame de
Liliengarten's. It was an invitation the poor fellow never
neglected.'

I remembered the facts, and listened on, amazed at the artifice of
the infernal Minister of Police.

'The spy came back from his message to Lowe, and stated that he had
made inquiries among the servants of the house where the Heidelberg
banker lodged, and that it was the latter's intention to leave X----
that afternoon. He travelled by himself, riding an old horse,
exceedingly humbly attired, after the manner of his people.

'"Johann," said the Minister, clapping the pleased spy upon the
shoulder, "I am more and more pleased with you. I have been
thinking, since you left me, of your intelligence, and the faithful
manner in which you have served me; and shall soon find an occasion
to place you according to your merits. Which way does this
Israelitish scoundrel take?"

'"He goes to R----to-night."

'"And must pass by the Kaiserwald. Are you a man of courage, Johann
Kerner?"

'"Will your Excellency try me?" said the man, his eyes glittering:
"I served through the Seven Years' War, and was never known to fail
there."

'"Now, listen. The emerald must be taken from that Jew: in the very
keeping it the scoundrel has committed high treason. To the man who
brings me that emerald I swear I will give five hundred louis. You
understand why it is necessary that it should be restored to her
Highness. I need say no more."

'"You shall have it to-night, sir," said the man. "Of course your
Excellency will hold me harmless in case of accident."

'"Psha!" answered the Minister; "I will pay you half the money
beforehand; such is my confidence in you. Accident's impossible if
you take your measures properly. There are four leagues of wood; the
Jew rides slowly. It will be night before he can reach, let us say,
the old Powder-Mill in the wood. What's to prevent you from putting
a rope across the road, and dealing with him there? Be back with me
this evening at supper. If you meet any of the patrol, say 'foxes
are loose,'--that's the word for to-night. They will let you pass
them without questions."

'The man went off quite charmed with his commission; and when Magny
was losing his money at our faro-table, his servant waylaid the Jew
at the spot named the Powder-Mill, in the Kaiserwald. The Jew's
horse stumbled over a rope which had been placed across the road;
and, as the rider fell groaning to the ground, Johann Kerner rushed
out on him, masked, and pistol in hand, and demanded his money. He
had no wish to kill the Jew, I believe, unless his resistance should
render extreme measures necessary.

'Nor did he commit any such murder; for, as the yelling Jew roared
for mercy, and his assailant menaced him with a pistol, a squad of
patrol came up, and laid hold of the robber and the wounded man.

'Kerner swore an oath. "You have come too soon," said he to the
sergeant of the police. "FOXES ARE LOOSE." "Some are caught," said
the sergeant, quite unconcerned; and bound the fellow's hands with
the rope which he had stretched across the road to entrap the Jew.
He was placed behind a policeman on a horse; Lowe was similarly
accommodated, and the party thus came back into the town as the
night fell. 'They were taken forthwith to the police quarter; and,
as the chief happened to be there, they were examined by his
Excellency in person. Both were rigorously searched; the Jew's
papers and cases taken from him: the jewel was found in a private
pocket. As for the spy, the Minister, looking at him angrily, said,
"Why, this is the servant of the Chevalier de Magny, one of her
Highness's equerries!" and without hearing a word in exculpation
from the poor frightened wretch, ordered him into close confinement.

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