Barry Lyndon

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After we had been a few weeks at Ludwigslust, the old Baron de Magny
endeavoured to have us dismissed from the duchy; but his voice was
not strong enough to overcome that of the general public, and the
Chevalier de Magny especially stood our friend with his Highness
when the question was debated before him. The Chevalier's love of
play had not deserted him. He was a regular frequenter of our bank,
where he played for some time with pretty good luck; and where, when
he began to lose, he paid with a regularity surprising to all those
who knew the smallness of his means, and the splendour of his
appearance.

Her Highness the Princess Olivia was also very fond of play. On
half-a-dozen occasions when we held a bank at Court, I could see her
passion for the game. I could see--that is, my cool-headed old uncle
could see--much more. There was an intelligence between Monsieur de
Magny and this illustrious lady. 'If her Highness be not in love
with the little Frenchman,' my uncle said to me one night after
play, 'may I lose the sight of my last eye!'

'And what then, sir?' said I.

'What then?' said my uncle, looking me hard in the face. 'Are you so
green as not to know what then? Your fortune is to be made, if you
choose to back it now; and we may have back the Barry estates in two
years, my boy.'

'How is that?' asked I, still at a loss.

My uncle drily said, 'Get Magny to play; never mind his paying: take
his notes of hand. The more he owes the better; but, above all, make
him play.'

'He can't pay a shilling,' answered I. 'The Jews will not discount
his notes at cent. per cent.'

'So much the better. You shall see we will make use of them,'
answered the old gentleman. And I must confess that the plan he laid
was a gallant, clever, and fair one.

I was to make Magny play; in this there was no great difficulty. We
had an intimacy together, for he was a good sportsman as well as
myself, and we came to have a pretty considerable friendship for one
another; if he saw a dice-box it was impossible to prevent him from
handling it; but he took to it as natural as a child does to
sweetmeats.

At first he won of me; then he began to lose; then I played him
money against some jewels that he brought: family trinkets, he said,
and indeed of considerable value. He begged me, however, not to
dispose of them in the duchy, and I gave and kept my word to him to
this effect. From jewels he got to playing upon promissory notes;
and as they would not allow him to play at the Court tables and in
public upon credit, he was very glad to have an opportunity of
indulging his favourite passion in private. I have had him for hours
at my pavilion (which I had fitted up in the Eastern manner, very
splendid) rattling the dice till it became time to go to his service
at Court, and we would spend day after day in this manner. He
brought me more jewels,--a pearl necklace, an antique emerald breast
ornament, and other trinkets, as a set-off against these losses: for
I need not say that I should not have played with him all this time
had he been winning; but, after about a week, the luck set in
against him, and he became my debtor in a prodigious sum. I do not
care to mention the extent of it; it was such as I never thought the
young man could pay.

Why, then, did I play for it? Why waste days in private play with a
mere bankrupt, when business seemingly much more profitable was to
be done elsewhere? My reason I boldly confess. I wanted to win from
Monsieur de Magny, not his money, but his intended wife, the
Countess Ida. Who can say that I had not a right to use ANY
stratagem in this matter of love? Or, why say love? I wanted the
wealth of the lady: I loved her quite as much as Magny did; I loved
her quite as much as yonder blushing virgin of seventeen does who
marries an old lord of seventy. I followed the practice of the world
in this; having resolved that marriage should achieve my fortune.

I used to make Magny, after his losses, give me a friendly letter of
acknowledgment to some such effect as this,--

'MY DEAR MONSIEUR DE BALIBARI,--I acknowledge to have lost to you
this day at lansquenet [or picquet, or hazard, as the case may be: I
was master of him at any game that is played] the sum of three
hundred ducats, and shall hold it as a great kindness on your part
if you will allow the debt to stand over until a future day, when
you shall receive payment from your very grateful humble servant.'

With the jewels he brought me I also took the precaution (but this
was my uncle's idea, and a very good one) to have a sort of invoice,
and a letter begging me to receive the trinkets as so much part
payment of a sum of money he owed me.

When I had put him in such a position as I deemed favourable to my
intentions, I spoke to him candidly, and without any reserve, as one
man of the world should speak to another. 'I will not, my dear
fellow,' said I, 'pay you so bad a compliment as to suppose that you
expect we are to go on playing at this rate much longer, and that
there is any satisfaction to me in possessing more or less sheets of
paper bearing your signature, and a series of notes of hand which I
know you never can pay. Don't look fierce or angry, for you know
Redmond Barry is your master at the sword; besides, I would not be
such a fool as to fight a man who owes me so much money; but hear
calmly what I have to propose.

'You have been very confidential to me during our intimacy of the
last month; and I know all your personal affairs completely. You
have given your word of honour to your grandfather never to play
upon parole, and you know how you have kept it, and that he will
disinherit you if he hears the truth. Nay, suppose he dies to-
morrow, his estate is not sufficient to pay the sum in which you are
indebted to me; and, were you to yield me up all, you would be a
beggar, and a bankrupt too.

'Her Highness the Princess Olivia denies you nothing. I shall not
ask why; but give me leave to say, I was aware of the fact when we
began to play together.'

'Will you be made baron-chamberlain, with the grand cordon of the
order?' gasped the poor fellow. 'The Princess can do anything with
the Duke.'

'I shall have no objection,' said I, 'to the yellow riband and the
gold key; though a gentleman of the house of Ballybarry cares little
for the titles of the German nobility. But this is not what I want.
My good Chevalier, you have hid no secrets from me. You have told me
with what difficulty you have induced the Princess Olivia to consent
to the project of your union with the Grafinn Ida, whom you don't
love. I know whom you love very well.'

'Monsieur de Balibari!' said the discomfited Chevalier; he could get
out no more. The truth began to dawn upon him.

'You begin to understand,' continued I. 'Her Highness the Princess'
(I said this in a sarcastic way) 'will not be very angry, believe
me, if you break off your connection with the stupid Countess. I am
no more an admirer of that lady than you are; but I want her estate.
I played you for that estate, and have won it; and I will give you
your bills and five thousand ducats on the day I am married to it.'

'The day _I_ am married to the Countess,' answered the Chevalier,
thinking to have me, 'I will be able to raise money to pay your
claim ten times over' (this was true, for the Countess's property
may have been valued at near half a million of our money); 'and then
I will discharge my obligations to you. Meanwhile, if you annoy me
by threats, or insult me again as you have done, I will use that
influence, which, as you say, I possess, and have you turned out of
the duchy, as you were out of the Netherlands last year.'

I rang the bell quite quietly. 'Zamor,' said I to a tall negro
fellow habited like a Turk, that used to wait upon me, 'when you
hear the bell ring a second time, you will take this packet to the
Marshal of the Court, this to his Excellency the General de Magny,
and this you will place in the hands of one of the equerries of his
Highness the Hereditary Prince. Wait in the ante-room, and do not go
with the parcels until I ring again.'

The black fellow having retired, I turned to Monsieur de Magny and
said, 'Chevalier, the first packet contains a letter from you to me,
declaring your solvency, and solemnly promising payment of the sums
you owe me; it is accompanied by a document from myself (for I
expected some resistance on your part), stating that my honour has
been called in question, and begging that the paper may be laid
before your august master his Highness. The second packet is for
your grandfather, enclosing the letter from you in which you state
yourself to be his heir, and begging for a confirmation of the fact.
The last parcel, for his Highness the Hereditary Duke,' added I,
looking most sternly, 'contains the Gustavus Adolphus emerald, which
he gave to his princess, and which you pledged to me as a family
jewel of your own. Your influence with her Highness must be great
indeed,' I concluded, 'when you could extort from her such a jewel
as that, and when you could make her, in order to pay your play-
debts, give up a secret upon which both your heads depend.'

'Villain!' said the Frenchman, quite aghast with fury and terror,
'would you implicate the Princess?'

'Monsieur de Magny,' I answered, with a sneer, 'no: I will say YOU
STOLE the jewel.' It was my belief he did, and that the unhappy and
infatuated Princess was never privy to the theft until long after it
had been committed. How we came to know the history of the emerald
is simple enough. As we wanted money (for my occupation with Magny
caused our bank to be much neglected), my uncle had carried Magny's
trinkets to Mannheim to pawn. The Jew who lent upon them knew the
history of the stone in question; and when he asked how her Highness
came to part with it, my uncle very cleverly took up the story where
he found it, said that the Princess was very fond of play, that it
was not always convenient to her to pay, and hence the emerald had
come into our hands. He brought it wisely back with him to S--; and,
as regards the other jewels which the Chevalier pawned to us, they
were of no particular mark: no inquiries have ever been made about
them to this day; and I did not only not know then that they came
from her Highness, but have only my conjectures upon the matter now.

The unfortunate young gentleman must have had a cowardly spirit,
when I charged him with the theft, not to make use of my two pistols
that were lying by chance before him, and to send out of the world
his accuser and his own ruined self. With such imprudence and
miserable recklessness on his part and that of the unhappy lady who
had forgotten herself for this poor villain, he must have known that
discovery was inevitable. But it was written that this dreadful
destiny should be accomplished: instead of ending like a man, he now
cowered before me quite spirit-broken, and, flinging himself down on
the sofa, burst into tears, calling wildly upon all the saints to
help him: as if they could be interested in the fate of such a
wretch as he!

I saw that I had nothing to fear from him; and, calling back Zamor
my black, said I would myself carry the parcels, which I returned to
my escritoire; and, my point being thus gained, I acted, as I always
do, generously towards him. I said that, for security's sake, I
should send the emerald out of the country, but that I pledged my
honour to restore it to the Duchess, without any pecuniary
consideration, on the day when she should procure the sovereign's
consent to my union with the Countess Ida.

This will explain pretty clearly, I flatter myself, the game I was
playing; and, though some rigid moralist may object to its
propriety, I say that anything is fair in love, and that men so poor
as myself can't afford to be squeamish about their means of getting
on in life. The great and rich are welcomed, smiling, up the grand
staircase of the world; the poor but aspiring must clamber up the
wall, or push and struggle up the back stair, or, PARDI, crawl
through any of the conduits of the house, never mind how foul and
narrow, that lead to the top. The unambitious sluggard pretends that
the eminence is not worth attaining, declines altogether the
struggle, and calls himself a philosopher. I say he is a poor-
spirited coward. What is life good for but for honour? and that is
so indispensable, that we should attain it anyhow.

The manner to be adopted for Magny's retreat was proposed by myself,
and was arranged so as to consult the feelings of delicacy of both
parties. I made Magny take the Countess Ida aside, and say to her,
'Madam, though I have never declared myself your admirer, you and
the Court have had sufficient proof of my regard for you; and my
demand would, I know, have been backed by his Highness, your august
guardian. I know the Duke's gracious wish is, that my attentions
should be received favourably; but, as time has not appeared to
alter your attachment elsewhere, and as I have too much spirit to
force a lady of your name and rank to be united to me against your
will, the best plan is, that I should make you, for form's sake, a
proposal UNauthorised by his Highness: that you should reply, as I
am sorry to think your heart dictates to you, in the negative: on
which I also will formally withdraw from my pursuit of you, stating
that, after a refusal, nothing, not even the Duke's desire, should
induce me to persist in my suit.'

The Countess Ida almost wept at hearing these words from Monsieur de
Magny, and tears came into her eyes, he said, as she took his hand
for the first time, and thanked him for the delicacy of the
proposal. She little knew that the Frenchman was incapable of that
sort of delicacy, and that the graceful manner in which he withdrew
his addresses was of my invention.

As soon as he withdrew, it became my business to step forward; but
cautiously and gently, so as not to alarm the lady, and yet firmly,
so as to convince her of the hopelessness of her design of uniting
herself with her shabby lover, the sub-lieutenant. The Princess
Olivia was good enough to perform this necessary part of the plan in
my favour, and solemnly to warn the Countess Ida, that, though
Monsieur de Magny had retired from paying his addresses, his
Highness her guardian would still marry her as he thought fit, and
that she must for ever forget her out-at-elbowed adorer. In fact, I
can't conceive how such a shabby rogue as that could ever have had
the audacity to propose for her: his birth was certainly good; but
what other qualifications had he?

When the Chevalier de Magny withdrew, numbers of other suitors, you
may be sure, presented themselves; and amongst these your very
humble servant, the cadet of Ballybarry. There was a carrousel, or
tournament, held at this period, in imitation of the antique
meetings of chivalry, in which the chevaliers tilted at each other,
or at the ring; and on this occasion I was habited in a splendid
Roman dress (viz., a silver helmet, a flowing periwig, a cuirass of
gilt leather richly embroidered, a light blue velvet mantle, and
crimson morocco half-boots): and in this habit I rode my bay horse
Brian, carried off three rings, and won the prize over all the
Duke's gentry, and the nobility of surrounding countries who had
come to the show. A wreath of gilded laurel was to be the prize of
the victor, and it was to be awarded by the lady he selected. So I
rode up to the gallery where the Countess Ida was seated behind the
Hereditary Princess, and, calling her name loudly, yet gracefully,
begged to be allowed to be crowned by her, and thus proclaimed
myself to the face of all Germany, as it were, her suitor. She
turned very pale, and the Princess red, I observed; but the Countess
Ida ended by crowning me: after which, putting spurs into my horse,
I galloped round the ring, saluting his Highness the Duke at the
opposite end, and performing the most wonderful exercises with my
bay.

My success did not, as you may imagine, increase my popularity with
the young gentry. They called me adventurer, bully, dice-loader,
impostor, and a hundred pretty names; but I had a way of silencing
these gentry. I took the Count de Schmetterling, the richest and
bravest of the young men who seemed to have a hankering for the
Countess Ida, and publicly insulted him at the ridotto; flinging my
cards into his face. The next day I rode thirty-five miles into the
territory of the Elector of B----, and met Monsieur de
Schmetterling, and passed my sword twice through his body; then rode
back with my second, the Chevalier de Magny, and presented myself at
the Duchess's whist that evening. Magny was very unwilling to
accompany me at first; but I insisted upon his support, and that he
should countenance my quarrel. Directly after paying my homage to
her Highness, I went up to the Countess Ida, and made her a marked
and low obeisance, gazing at her steadily in the face until she grew
crimson red; and then staring round at every man who formed her
circle, until, MA FOI, I stared them all away. I instructed Magny to
say, everywhere, that the Countess was madly in love with me; which
commission, along with many others of mine, the poor devil was
obliged to perform. He made rather a SOTTE FIGURE, as the French
say, acting the pioneer for me, praising me everywhere, accompanying
me always! he who had been the pink of the MODE until my arrival; he
who thought his pedigree of beggarly Barons of Magny was superior to
the race of great Irish kings from which I descended; who had
sneered at me a hundred times as a spadassin, a deserter, and had
called me a vulgar Irish upstart. Now I had my revenge of the
gentleman, and took it too.

I used to call him, in the choicest societies, by his Christian name
of Maxime. I would say, 'Bon jour, Maxime; comment vas-TU?' in the
Princess's hearing, and could see him bite his lips for fury and
vexation. But I had him under my thumb, and her Highness too--I,
poor private of Bulow's regiment. And this is a proof of what genius
and perseverance can do, and should act as a warning to great people
never to have SECRETS--if they can help it.

I knew the Princess hated me; but what did I care? She knew I knew
all: and indeed, I believe, so strong was her prejudice against me,
that she thought I was an indelicate villain, capable of betraying a
lady, which I would scorn to do; so that she trembled before me as a
child before its schoolmaster. She would, in her woman's way, too,
make all sorts of jokes and sneers at me on reception days; ask
about my palace in Ireland, and the kings my ancestors, and whether,
when I was a private in Bulow's foot, my royal relatives had
interposed to rescue me, and whether the cane was smartly
administered there,--anything to mortify me. But, Heaven bless you!
I can make allowances for people, and used to laugh in her face.
Whilst her jibes and jeers were continuing, it was my pleasure to
look at poor Magny and see how HE bore them. The poor devil was
trembling lest I should break out under the Princess's sarcasm and
tell all; but my revenge was, when the Princess attacked me, to say
something bitter to HIM,--to pass it on, as boys do at school. And
THAT was the thing which used to make her Highness feel. She would
wince just as much when I attacked Magny as if I had been saying
anything rude to herself. And, though she hated me, she used to beg
my pardon in private; and though her pride would often get the
better of her, yet her prudence obliged this magnificent princess to
humble herself to the poor penniless Irish boy.

As soon as Magny had formally withdrawn from the Countess Ida, the
Princess took the young lady into favour again, and pretended to be
very fond of her. To do them justice, I don't know which of the two
disliked me most,--the Princess, who was all eagerness, and fire,
and coquetry; or the Countess, who was all state and splendour. The
latter, especially, pretended to be disgusted by me: and yet, after
all, I have pleased her betters; was once one of the handsomest men
in Europe, and would defy any heyduc of the Court to measure a chest
or a leg with me: but I did not care for any of her silly
prejudices, and determined to win her and wear her in spite of
herself. Was it on account of her personal charms or qualities? No.
She was quite white, thin, short-sighted, tall, and awkward, and my
taste is quite the contrary; and as for her mind, no wonder that a
poor creature who had a hankering after a wretched ragged ensign
could never appreciate ME. It was her estate I made love to; as for
herself, it would be a reflection on my taste as a man of fashion to
own that I liked her.

CHAPTER XI

IN WHICH THE LUCK GOES AGAINST BARRY

My hopes of obtaining the hand of one of the richest heiresses in
Germany were now, as far as all human probability went, and as far
as my own merits and prudence could secure my fortune, pretty
certain of completion. I was admitted whenever I presented myself at
the Princess's apartments, and had as frequent opportunities as I
desired of seeing the Countess Ida there. I cannot say that she
received me with any particular favour; the silly young creature's
affections were, as I have said, engaged ignobly elsewhere; and,
however captivating my own person and manners may have been, it was
not to be expected that she should all of a sudden forget her lover
for the sake of the young Irish gentleman who was paying his
addresses to her. But such little rebuffs as I got were far from
discouraging me. I had very powerful friends, who were to aid me in
my undertaking; and knew that, sooner or later, the victory must be
mine. In fact, I only waited my time to press my suit. Who could
tell the dreadful stroke of fortune which was impending over my
illustrious protectress, and which was to involve me partially in
her ruin?

All things seemed for a while quite prosperous to my wishes; and in
spite of the Countess Ida's disinclination, it was much easier to
bring her to her senses than, perhaps, may be supposed in a silly
constitutional country like England, where people are not brought up
with those wholesome sentiments of obedience to Royalty which were
customary in Europe at the time when I was a young man.

I have stated how, through Magny, I had the Princess, as it were, at
my feet. Her Highness had only to press the match upon the old Duke,
over whom her influence was unbounded, and to secure the goodwill of
the Countess of Liliengarten, (which was the romantic title of his
Highness's morganatic spouse), and the easy old man would give an
order for the marriage: which his ward would perforce obey. Madame
de Liliengarten was, too, from her position, extremely anxious to
oblige the Princess Olivia; who might be called upon any day to
occupy the throne. The old Duke was tottering, apoplectic, and
exceedingly fond of good living. When he was gone, his relict would
find the patronage of the Duchess Olivia most necessary to her.
Hence there was a close mutual understanding between the two ladies;
and the world said that the Hereditary Princess was already indebted
to the favourite for help on various occasions. Her Highness had
obtained, through the Countess, several large grants of money for
the payment of her multifarious debts; and she was now good enough
to exert her gracious influence over Madame de Liliengarten in order
to obtain for me the object so near my heart. It is not to be
supposed that my end was to be obtained without continual
unwillingness and refusals on Magny's part; but I pushed my point
resolutely, and had means in my hands of overcoming the stubbornness
of that feeble young gentleman. Also, I may say, without vanity,
that if the high and mighty Princess detested me, the Countess
(though she was of extremely low origin, it is said) had better
taste and admired me. She often did us the honour to go partners
with us in one of our faro-banks, and declared that I was the
handsomest man in the duchy. All I was required to prove was my
nobility, and I got at Vienna such a pedigree as would satisfy the
most greedy in that way. In fact, what had a man descended from the
Barrys and the Bradys to fear before any VON in Germany? By way of
making assurance doubly sure, I promised Madame de Liliengarten ten
thousand louis on the day of my marriage, and she knew that as a
play-man I had never failed in my word: and I vow, that had I paid
fifty per cent. for it, I would have got the money.

Thus by my talents, honesty, and acuteness, I had, considering I was
a poor patronless outcast, raised for myself very powerful
protectors. Even his Highness the Duke Victor was favourably
inclined to me; for, his favourite charger falling ill of the
staggers, I gave him a ball such as my uncle Brady used to
administer, and cured the horse; after which his Highness was
pleased to notice me frequently. He invited me to his hunting and
shooting parties, where I showed myself to be a good sportsman; and
once or twice he condescended to talk to me about my prospects in
life, lamenting that I had taken to gambling, and that I had not
adopted a more regular means of advancement. 'Sir,' said I, 'if you
will allow me to speak frankly to your Highness, play with me is
only a means to an end. Where should I have been without it? A
private still in King Frederick's grenadiers. I come of a race which
gave princes to my country; but persecutions have deprived them of
their vast possessions. My uncle's adherence to his ancient faith
drove him from our country. I too resolved to seek advancement in
the military service; but the insolence and ill-treatment which I
received at the hands of the English were not bearable by a high-
born gentleman, and I fled their service. It was only to fall into
another bondage to all appearance still more hopeless; when my good
star sent a preserver to me in my uncle, and my spirit and gallantry
enabled me to take advantage of the means of escape afforded me.
Since then we have lived, I do not disguise it, by play; but who can
say I have done him a wrong? Yet, if I could find myself in an
honourable post, and with an assured maintenance, I would never,
except for amusement, such as every gentleman must have, touch a
card again. I beseech your Highness to inquire of your resident at
Berlin if I did not on every occasion act as a gallant soldier. I
feel that I have talents of a higher order, and should be proud to
have occasion to exert them; if, as I do not doubt, my fortune shall
bring them into play.'

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