Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners

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Transcribed from the 1905 The Religious Tract Society edition by
David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk

GRACE ABOUNDING TO THE CHIEF OF SINNERS
In a faithful account of the life and death of John Bunyan
Or
A brief relation of the exceeding mercy of God in Christ to him
Namely
In His taking him out of the dunghill, and converting him to the
faith of His blessed son Jesus Christ. Here is also particularly
shewed, what sight of, and what troubles he had for sin; and also,
what various temptations he hath met with, and how God hath carried
him through them.

A PREFACE

OR, BRIEF ACCOUNT OF THE PUBLISHING THIS WORK. WRITTEN BY THE
AUTHOR THEREOF, AND DEDICATED TO THOSE WHOM GOD HATH COUNTED HIM
WORTHY TO BEGET TO FAITH, BY HIS MINISTRY IN THE WORD

Children, Grace be with you. Amen. I being taken from you in
presence, and so tied up that I cannot perform that duty, that from
God doth lie upon me to you-ward, for your farther edifying and
building up in faith and holiness, etc., yet that you may see my
soul hath fatherly care and desire after your spiritual and
everlasting welfare, I now once again, as before, from the top of
Shenir and Hermon, so now from the lions' dens, from the mountains
of the leopards (Song iv. 8), do look yet after you all, greatly
longing to see your safe arrival into THE desired Haven.

I thank God upon every remembrance of you; and rejoice, even while
I stick between the teeth of the lion in the wilderness, that the
grace and mercy, and knowledge of Christ our Saviour, which God
hath bestowed upon you, with abundance of faith and love; your
hungerings and thirstings after farther acquaintance with the
Father, in the Son; your tenderness of heart, your trembling at
sin, your sober and holy deportment also, before both God and men,
is a great refreshment to me; For ye are our glory and joy. 1
Thess. ii. 20.

I have sent you here enclosed, a drop of that honey that I have
taken out of the carcase of a lion. Judg. xiv. 5-8. I have eaten
thereof myself, and am much refreshed thereby. (Temptations, when
we meet them at first, are as the lion that roared upon Samson; but
if we overcome them, the next time we see them, we shall find a
nest of honey within them.) The Philistines understand me not. It
is something of a relation of the work of God upon my soul, even
from the very first, till now, wherein you may perceive my castings
down, and risings up: for He woundeth, and His hands make whole.
It is written in the Scripture, Isa. xxxviii. 19, The father to the
children shall make known Thy truth. Yea, it was for this reason I
lay so long at Sinai, Lev. iv. 10, 11, to see the fire, and the
cloud, and the darkness, that I might fear the Lord all the days of
my life upon earth, and tell of His wondrous works to my children.
Psalm lxxviii. 3-5.

Moses, Numb. xxxiii. 1, 2, writ of the journeys of the children of
Israel, from Egypt to the land of Canaan; and commanded also that
they did remember their forty years' travel in the wilderness.
Thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee
these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove
thee, and to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldst
keep His commandments, or no. Deut. viii. 2. Wherefore this I
have endeavoured to do; and not only so, but to publish it also;
that, if God will, others may be put in remembrance of what He hath
done for their souls, by reading His work upon me.

It is profitable for Christians to be often calling to mind the
very beginnings of grace with their souls. It is a night to be
much observed unto the Lord, for bringing them out from the land of
Egypt. This is that night of the Lord to be observed of all the
children of Israel in their generations. Exod. xii. 42. O my God
(saith David), Ps. xlii. 6, my soul is cast down within me;
therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the
Hermonites, from the hill Mizar. He remembered also the lion and
the bear, when he went to fight with the giant of Gath. 1 Sam.
xvii. 36, 37.

It was Paul's accustomed manner, Acts xxii., and that, when tried
for his life, Acts xxiv., even to open before his judges the manner
of his conversion: he would think of that day, and that hour, in
which he first did meet with grace; for he found it supported him.
When God had brought the children of Israel out of the Red Sea, far
into the wilderness, yet they must turn quite about thither again,
to remember the drowning of their enemies there, Numb. xiv. 25, for
though they sang his praise before, yet they soon forgat his works.
Psalm cvi. 11, 12.

In this discourse of mine, you may see much; much I say, of the
grace of God towards me: I thank God, I can count it much; for it
was above my sins and Satan's temptations too. I can remember my
fears and doubts, and sad months, with comfort; they are as the
head of Goliah in my hand: there was nothing to David like
Goliah's sword, even that sword that should have been sheathed in
his bowels; for the very sight and remembrance of that did preach
forth God's deliverance to him. Oh! the remembrance of my great
sins, of my great temptations, and of my great fear of perishing
for ever! They bring afresh into my mind, the remembrance of my
great help, my great supports from heaven, and the great grace that
God extended to such a wretch as I.

My dear children, call to mind the former days, and years of
ancient times: remember also your songs in the night, and commune
with your own Hearts, Ps. lxxiii. 5-12. Yea, look diligently, and
leave no corner therein unsearched for that treasure hid, even the
treasure of your first and second experience of the grace of God
towards you. Remember, I say, the word that first laid hold upon
you: remember your terrors of conscience, and fear of death and
hell: remember also your tears and prayers to God; yea, how you
sighed under every hedge for mercy. Have you never a hill Mizar to
remember? Have you forgot the close, the milk-house, the stable,
the barn, and the like, where God did visit your souls? Remember
also the word, the word, I say, upon which the Lord hath caused you
to hope: if you have sinned against light, if you are tempted to
blaspheme, if you are drowned in despair, if you think God fights
against you, or if heaven is hid from your eyes; remember it was
thus with your father; but out of them all the Lord delivered me.

I could have enlarged much in this my discourse, of my temptations
and troubles for sin; as also of the merciful kindness and working
of God with my soul: I could also have stepped into a style much
higher than this, in which I have here discoursed, and could have
adorned all things more than here I have seemed to do, but I dare
not: God did not play in tempting of me; neither did I play, when
I sunk as into the bottomless pit, when the pangs of hell caught
hold upon me; wherefore I may not play in relating of them, but be
plain and simple, and lay down the thing as it was; he that liketh
it, let him receive it, and he that doth not, let him produce a
better. Farewell.

My dear Children,

The milk and honey are beyond this wilderness. God be merciful to
you, and grant that you be not slothful to go in to possess the
land.

JOHN BUNYAN.

GRACE ABOUNDING TO THE CHIEF OF SINNERS
OR,
A BRIEF RELATION OF THE EXCEEDING MERCY OF GOD IN CHRIST, TO HIS
POOR SERVANT, JOHN BUNYAN

In this my relation of the merciful working of God upon my soul, it
will not be amiss, if in the first place, I do in a few words give
you a hint of my pedigree, and manner of bringing up; that thereby
the goodness and bounty of God towards me, may be the more advanced
and magnified before the sons of men.

2. For my descent then, it was, as is well known by many, of a low
and inconsiderable generation; my father's house being of that rank
that is meanest, and most despised of all the families in the land.
Wherefore, I have not here, as others, to boast of noble blood, or
of any high-born state, according to the flesh; though, all things
considered, I magnify the heavenly Majesty, for that by this door
He brought me into the world, to partake of the grace and life that
is in Christ by the gospel.

3. But yet, notwithstanding the meanness and inconsiderableness of
my parents, it pleased God to put it into their hearts, to put me
to school, to learn both to read and write; the which I also
attained, according to the rate of other poor men's children:
though, to my shame, I confess, I did soon lose that I had learned,
even almost utterly, and that long before the Lord did work His
gracious work of conversion upon my soul.

4. As for my own natural life, for the time that I was without God
in the world, it was, indeed, according to the course of this world
and the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience.
Eph. ii. 2, 3. It was my delight to be 'taken captive by the devil
at his will,' 2 Tim. ii. 26; being filled with all unrighteousness;
the which did also so strongly work, and put forth itself, both in
my heart and life, and that from a child, that I had but few equals
(especially considering my years, which were tender, being but few)
both for cursing, swearing, lying, and blaspheming the holy name of
God.

5. Yea, so settled and rooted was I in these things, that they
became as a second nature to me; the which, as I have also with
soberness considered since, did so offend the Lord, that even in my
childhood he did scare and affrighten me with fearful dreams, and
did terrify me with fearful visions. For often, after I have spent
this and the other day in sin, I have in my bed been greatly
afflicted, while asleep, with the apprehensions of devils and
wicked spirits, who still, as I then thought, laboured to draw me
away with them, of which I could never be rid.

6. Also I should, at these years, be greatly afflicted and
troubled with the thoughts of the fearful torments of hell-fire;
still fearing, that it would be my lot to be found at last among
those devils and hellish fiends, who are there bound down with the
chains and bonds of darkness, unto the judgment of the great day.

7. These things, I say, when I was but a child, but nine or ten
years old, did so distress my soul, that then in the midst of my
many sports and childish vanities, amidst my vain companions, I was
often much cast down, and afflicted in my mind therewith, yet could
I not let go my sins: yea, I was also then so overcome with
despair of life and heaven, that I should often wish, either that
there had been no hell, or that I had been a devil; supposing they
were only tormentors; that if it must needs be, that I went
thither, I might be rather a tormentor, than be tormented myself.

8. A while after those terrible dreams did leave me, which also I
soon forgot; for my pleasures did quickly cut off the remembrance
of them, as if they had never been: wherefore with more
greediness, according to the strength of nature, I did still let
loose the reins of my lust, and delighted in all transgressions
against the law of God: so that until I came to the state of
marriage, I was the very ringleader of all the youth that kept me
company, in all manner of vice and ungodliness.

9. Yea, such prevalency had the lusts and fruits of the flesh in
this poor soul of mine, that had not a miracle of precious grace
prevented, I had not only perished by the stroke of eternal
justice, but had also laid myself open, even to the stroke of those
laws which bring some to disgrace and open shame before the face of
the world.

10. In these days the thoughts of religion were very grievous to
me; I could neither endure it myself, nor that any other should; so
that when I have seen some read in those books that concerned
Christian piety, it would be as it were a prison to me. Then I
said unto God, Depart from me, for I desire not the knowledge of
Thy ways. Job xxi. 14, 15. I was now void of all good
consideration, heaven and hell were both out of sight and mind; and
as for saving and damning, they were least in my thoughts. O Lord,
Thou knowest my life, and my ways were not hid from Thee!

11. But this I well remember, that though I could myself sin with
the greatest delight and ease, and also take pleasure in the
vileness of my companions; yet, even then, if I had at any time
seen wicked things, by those who professed goodness, it would make
my spirit tremble. As once above all the rest, when I was in the
height of vanity, yet hearing one to swear, that was reckoned for a
religious man, it had so great a stroke upon my spirit, that it
made my heart ache.

12. But God did not utterly leave me, but followed me still, not
now with convictions, but judgments; yet such as were mixed with
mercy. For once I fell into a creek of the sea, and hardly escaped
drowning. Another time I fell out of a boat into Bedford river,
but, mercy yet preserved me alive: besides, another time, being in
a field, with one of my companions, it chanced that an adder passed
over the highway, so I having a stick in my hand, struck her over
the back; and having stunned her, I forced open her mouth with my
stick, and plucked her sting out with my fingers; by which act had
not God been merciful unto me, I might by my desperateness, have
brought myself to my end.

13. This also I have taken notice of, with thanksgiving: When I
was a soldier, I with others, were drawn out to go to such a place
to besiege it; but when I was just ready to go, one of the company
desired to go in my room: to which, when I had consented, he took
my place; and coming to the siege, as he stood sentinel, he was
shot in the head with a musket-bullet and died.

14. Here, as I said, were judgments and mercy, but neither of them
did awaken my soul to righteousness; wherefore I sinned still, and
grew more and more rebellious against God, and careless of my own
salvation.

15. Presently after this, I changed my condition into a married
state, and my mercy was, to light upon a wife whose father was
counted godly: This woman and I, though we came together as poor
as poor might be (not having so much household stuff as a dish or a
spoon betwixt us both), yet this she had for her part: The Plain
Man's Pathway to Heaven and The Practice of Piety; which her father
had left her when he died. In these two books I would sometimes
read with her, wherein I also found some things that were somewhat
pleasing to me (but all this while I met with no conviction). She
also would be often telling of me what a godly man her father was,
and how he would reprove and correct vice, both in his house, and
among his neighbours; what a strict and holy life he lived in his
days, both in word and deed.

16. Wherefore these books, with this relation, though they did not
reach my heart, to awaken it about my sad and sinful state, yet
they did beget within me some desires to religion: so that because
I knew no better, I fell in very eagerly with the religion of the
times; to wit, to go to church twice a day, and that too with the
foremost; and there should very devoutly, both say and sing, as
others did, yet retaining my wicked life; but withal, I was so
over-run with the spirit of superstition, that I adored, and that
with great devotion, even all things (both the high-place, priest,
clerk, vestment, service, and what else) belonging to the church;
counting all things holy that were therein contained, and
especially, the priest and clerk most happy, and without doubt,
greatly blessed, because they were the servants, as I then thought,
of God, and were principal in the holy temple, to do His work
therein.

17. This conceit grew so strong in a little time upon my spirit,
that had I but seen a priest (though never so sordid and debauched
in his life), I should find my spirit fall under him, reverence
him, and knit unto him; yea, I thought, for the love I did bear
unto them (supposing them the ministers of God), I could have laid
down at their feet, and have been trampled upon by them; their
name, their garb, and work did so intoxicate and bewitch me.

18. After I had been thus for some considerable time, another
thought came in my mind; and that was, whether we were of the
Israelites or no? For finding in the scripture that they were once
the peculiar people of God, thought I, if I were one of this race,
my soul must needs be happy. Now again, I found within me a great
longing to be resolved about this question, but could not tell how
I should: at last I asked my father of it; who told me, No, we
were not. Wherefore then I fell in my spirit, as to the hopes of
that, and so remained.

19. But all this while, I was not sensible of the danger and evil
of sin; I was kept from considering that sin would damn me, what
religion soever I followed, unless I was found in Christ: nay, I
never thought of Him, or whether there was such a One, or no. Thus
man, while blind, doth wander, but wearieth himself with vanity,
for he knoweth not the way to the city of God. Eccles. x. 15.

20. But one day (amongst all the sermons our parson made) his
subject was, to treat of the Sabbath day, and of the evil of
breaking that, either with labour, sports or otherwise. (Now, I
was, notwithstanding my religion, one that took much delight in all
manner of vice, and especially that was the day that I did solace
myself therewith): wherefore I fell in my conscience under his
sermon, thinking and believing that he made that sermon on purpose
to show me my evil doing. And at that time I felt what guilt was,
though never before, that I can remember; but then I was, for the
present, greatly loaden therewith, and so went home when the sermon
was ended, with a great burthen upon my spirit.

21. This, for that instant did benumb the sinews of my best
delights, and did imbitter my former pleasures to me; but hold, it
lasted not, for before I had well dined, the trouble began to go
off my mind, and my heart returned to its old course: but oh! how
glad was I, that this trouble was gone from me, and that the fire
was put out, that I might sin again without control! Wherefore,
when I had satisfied nature with my food, I shook the sermon out of
my mind, and to my old custom of sports and gaming, I returned with
great delight.

22. But the same day, as I was in the midst of a game of Cat, and
having struck it one blow from the hole, just as I was about to
strike it the second time, a voice did suddenly dart from heaven
into my soul, which said, Wilt thou leave thy sins and go to
heaven, or have thy sins and go to hell? At this I was put to an
exceeding maze; wherefore leaving my cat upon the ground, I looked
up to heaven, and was, as if I had, with the eyes of my
understanding, seen the Lord Jesus looking down upon me, as being
very hotly displeased with me, and as if He did severely threaten
me with some grievous punishment for these and other ungodly
practices.

23. I had no sooner thus conceived in my mind, but, suddenly, this
conclusion was fastened on my spirit (for the former hint did set
my sins again before my face), That I had been a great and grievous
sinner, and that it was now too late for me to look after heaven;
for Christ would not forgive me, nor pardon my transgressions.
Then I fell to musing on this also; and while I was thinking of it,
and fearing lest it should be so; I felt my heart sink in despair,
concluding it was too late; and therefore I resolved in my mind I
would go on in sin: for, thought I, if the case be thus, my state
is surely miserable; miserable if I leave my sins, and but
miserable if I follow them; I can but be damned, and if I must be
so, I had as good be damned for many sins, as be damned for few.

24. Thus I stood in the midst of my play, before all that then
were present: but yet I told them nothing: but I say; having made
this conclusion, I returned desperately to my sport again; and I
well remember, that presently this kind of despair did so possess
my soul, that I was persuaded I could never attain to other comfort
than what I should get in sin; for heaven was gone already, so that
on that I must not think; wherefore I found within me great desire
to take my fill of sin, still studying what sin was yet to be
committed, that I might taste the sweetness of it; and I made as
much haste as I could to fill my belly with its delicates, lest I
should die before I had my desire; for that I feared greatly. In
these things, I protest before God, I lye not, neither do I feign
this form of speech; these were really, strongly, and with all my
heart, my desires: The good Lord, Whose mercy is unsearchable,
forgive me my transgressions!

25. And I am very confident, that this temptation of the devil is
more usual among poor creatures, than many are aware of, even to
over-run the spirits with a scurvy and seared frame of heart, and
benumbing of conscience, which frame he stilly and slily supplieth
with such despair, that, though not much guilt attendeth souls, yet
they continually have a secret conclusion within them, that there
is no hope for them; for they have loved sins, therefore after them
they will go. Jer. ii. 25, and xviii. 12.

26. Now therefore I went on in sin with great greediness of mind,
still grudging that I could not be so satisfied with it, as I
would. This did continue with me about a month, or more; but one
day, as I was standing at a neighbour's shop window, and there
cursing and swearing, and playing the madman, after my wonted
manner, there sate within, the woman of the house, and heard me;
who, though she also was a very loose and ungodly wretch, yet
protested that I swore and cursed at that most fearful rate, that
she was made to tremble to hear me; and told me further, that I was
the ungodliest fellow for swearing, that she ever heard in all her
life; and that I, by thus doing, was able to spoil all the youth in
the whole town, if they come but in my company.

27. At this reproof I was silenced, and put to secret shame; and
that too, as I thought, before the God of heaven; wherefore, while
I stood there, and hanging down my head, I wished with all my heart
that I might be a little child again, that my father might learn me
to speak without this wicked way of swearing; for, thought I, I am
so accustomed to it, that it is in vain for me to think of a
reformation; for I thought it could never be.

28. But how it came to pass, I know not; I did from this time
forward, so leave my swearing, that it was a great wonder to myself
to observe it; and whereas before I knew not how to speak unless I
put an oath before, and another behind, to make my words have
authority; now I could, without it, speak better, and with more
pleasantness than ever I could before. All this while I knew not
Jesus Christ, neither did I leave my sports and plays.

29. But quickly after this, I fell into company with one poor man
that made profession of religion; who, as I then thought, did talk
pleasantly of the scriptures, and of the matters of religion;
wherefore falling into some love and liking to what he said, I
betook me to my Bible, and began to take great pleasure in reading,
but especially with the historical part thereof; for as for Paul's
Epistles, and such like scriptures, I could not away with them,
being as yet ignorant, either of the corruptions of my nature, or
of the want and worth of Jesus Christ to save me.

30. Wherefore I fell to some outward reformation both in my words
and life, and did set the commandments before me for my way to
heaven; which commandments I also did strive to keep, and, as I
thought, did keep them pretty well sometimes, and then I should
have comfort; yet now and then should break one, and so afflict my
conscience; but then I should repent, and say, I was sorry for it,
and promise God to do better next time, and there get help again;
for then I thought I pleased God as well as any man in England.

31. Thus I continued about a year; all which time our neighbours
did take me to be a very godly man, a new and religious man, and
did marvel much to see such a great and famous alteration in my
life and manners; and indeed so it was, though yet I knew not
Christ, nor grace, nor faith, nor hope; for, as I have well seen
since, had I then died, my state had been most fearful.

32. But, I say, my neighbours were amazed at this my great
conversion, from prodigious profaneness, to something like a moral
life; and truly, so they well might; for this my conversion was as
great, as for Tom of Bethlehem to become a sober man. Now
therefore they began to praise, to commend, and to speak well of
me, both to my face, and behind my back. Now I was, as they said,
become godly; now I was become a right honest man. But oh! when I
understood these were their words and opinions of me, it pleased me
mighty well. For, though as yet I was nothing but a poor painted
hypocrite, yet, I loved to be talked of as one that was truly
godly. I was proud of my godliness, and indeed, I did all I did,
either to be seen of, or to be well spoken of, by men: and thus I
continued for about a twelvemonth, or more.

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